Yep. That’s me. Lucy aka Tyrannosaurus Tessie.
Hello. My name is Lucy and I’m an old fogey. *hangs head*
I’ve come to that conclusion after a string of technology (mis)adventures. Like setting up Twitter and Facebook author accounts, creating a self-hosted website, starting a blog. Oh and writing books using software other than MS Word. Yes, I know, everyone else has been doing this stuff for years. Hey, I never claimed to be current.
So even though I’ve been using a computer since the early 1980’s (when they were practically the size of a refrigerator – remember?), I now admit to making the walk of shame as a technology dinosaur.
The past nine months have seen excessive hair pulling, teeth gnashing, throwing objects, excessive swearing and generally snapping at Garage Guy when he asks what’s wrong. He’s learned to avoid me when there’s a certain look on my face that is obviously not indigestion.
“But Lucy,” you ask, “How can that be? Everyone knows all of those things are intuitive, user friendly, with forums and places to get help.”
To be fair, that’s true for normal people. I have met some incredibly helpful people who have pulled my sorry ass out of the tar pits. (Get it? Dinosaur-tar pit?) LOL
The sad reality is the ol’ Lucy fogey brain doesn’t work like normal people’s. I present the following as evidence…
1. Computer Conversion
In 2012, I converted from PC to Mac. It was six months before I could navigate around without my eyes crossing. The poor Apple tech people had their hands full with me. You know, whatever the acronym is for ‘stupid person sitting before the screen’? I know there’s a term for us.
It wasn’t too bad to set up although there are still things I can’t figure out — How do people get pictures in that area of their profile?
It took 2 failed attempts at the Facebook Author page before it finally worked.
OMG. If I could figure it out, I’d insert a video of a screaming banshee here. Assuming I could find one.
Who takes 4 days to transfer their domain name because they can’t find the link that was supposed to make it easy? *Raises hand*
Picking a theme that I just HAVE to modify because I really want to create the brand vision that’s swirling around in my head. Took me six months to figure out.
Designing a sign up form. Arghhh. Still haven’t figured it out. I know what I want and can’t translate it to the screen.
5. Book Software
I use Scrivener and it’s jam packed full of so many goodies it’s almost overwhelming. I love it but am intimidated at the same time. It can take my finished book and convert it to all different types of formats. Cool. Problem is I can’t figure out how to get chapter titles to work. *Head/desk*
6. This Blog
Ah, the easy part. All I have to do is write. How well is up for debate. But since my audience is comprised of the forty two crickets and three squirrels in my backyard, I write what I want.
Finally something that works. And it makes my old fogey, dinosaur brain happy.